Proceed with caution...

And so it begins. After some not-so-careful consideration and some prodding by a few friends, I've decided to start a blog. How nice for all of you to be entertained and/or offended on a more regular basis! While my written musings may not be as entertaining as the live show, a blog site gives you the option of clicking the "X" button to close the window and stop reading. Unfortunately, my mouth (i.e., the live show) is not equipped with such a button. Rule #1, and the only rule for readers of my blogs, is "Don't Hate." The "X" button is there for you to click at your leisure. If you're offended by what I've written or don't agree with my ideas, please don't post comments about it. Don't argue with me or post mean things about me in facebook, just unfriend me and move on. My goal is to only post stories that I think readers will find entertaining, but once in a while I may offend a few people.

I try to write like I speak. It seems more realistic and less formal. And, if you know me, you know that I have a mouth like a sailor or a trucker. Maybe a trucker who used to be a sailor. I will try and refrain from typing major profanity in my blogs. For some reason, it just seems more vulgar to read swear words versus hearing them. Instead, I'll use the substitutes "freak" and "crap" for the big two, as they will still get my point across. All other swear words will show up when needed, but only for the effect of my stories. If you are offended by profanity, refer to Rule #1. After all, this isn't an English paper.

Thanks to my husband's (we'll call him "George") great job and Nike's downsizing in 2009, I've become a stay-at-home mom to our 14-month old daughter, Taylor. This new life provides an unlimited source of inspiration to write. Because the majority of my daily experiences involve life with a toddler, there may be a few posts about Taylor, motherhood, poop, puke, boogers, etc. That was your warning. Also included in my blogs will be the usual rants you've all come to expect. There are so many things that cheese me off that if I don't talk (or type) about them, my head might explode. I'll try and keep the negativity to a minimum, but sometimes, I just can't help myself. Again, if you don't like what you're reading, refer to Rule #1!

I hope I'm able to entertain a few of you who read my blogs. They provide an outlet to write - something I've missed doing since being laid off.